Two friends of mine were looking for business development opportunities.  Both are talented professionals with years of great experience, MBA degrees from top schools, and successful independent coaching practices.  These two women were each introduced to a well-established executive coach who was looking to add affiliate coaches to her rapidly growing practice.   It’s “show-time” for our two friends!

The women each call the executive coach to chat.  Friend A connects and lands an opportunity to work with the executive coach in the first call.  Friend B has a very pleasant conversation but walks away with feedback that her experience seems “too light weight.”  There will be no immediate opportunity for Friend B to work with the executive coach.

What gives?  Both women have essentially the same experience and background!  Both are equally successful in their own coaching practices.  What does Friend A have that Friend B lacks?

In a word:  self confidence.  This is an example of the “inner game” in action (as Suzi Pomerantz would say.)  Our unconscious mindset greatly determines the energy we bring to a situation and how effective we are in our interactions with others.

Quite frankly, Friend B shows up in the world with less confidence than Friend A, which translates to the “light weight” impression she made on the executive coach.  Friend B is no less qualified than Friend A, she just has less energetic impact.

Dr. Larina Kase is an expert in confidence.  In her interview on this blog in November, she said that self-esteem and confidence are among the most important predictors of career success and income.
Larina says,  “Confidence does not necessarily come from achievement. It comes from how you interpret your actions. Two people can achieve the same level, and one feels great and proud of her process of getting there, and the other feels that they could have done better or worries if they’ll do as well the next time. (Guess who’s more confident?)”

While she doesn’t exactly have a self-esteem problem, Friend B is definitely a worrier and often plays down her accomplishments.  To help her stay focused on her many achievements and excellent personal qualities, she might start keeping a gratitude journal with a twist:  nightly write down at least 5 things that she is proud of about herself.   Over time the evidence will build up and so will her confidence.

(This and other interesting step-by-step exercises can be found in Sasha Xarrian’s eBook, The Keys to Phenomenal Self-Confidence)

In preparation for future job interviews or business development, Friend B might also write out her top 10 business success stories – peak moments of achievement in her career – with specific details, data and results.  Not only will this remind her of her fabulousness, it will also give her concrete, weighty details to incorporate into letters, resumes and other self-promotional efforts.

To land the job, get the promotion, make the sale, and have an IMPACT, it is critical to continue work on your inner game – the mindset you carry into the world –as it unconsciously becomes a factor in all your interactions.

Go forth and be weighty!

RELATED RESOURCES

Marilee Adam’s Change Your Questions, Change Your Life.

Larina Kase’s The Confident Leader.