We buck convention in our careers.  We follow our passion.  We enjoy wonderfully challenging and intense lives.  And we love to surround ourselves with others who are similarly on the road less traveled.  

Hosting a run-of-the-mill dinner party is not our style! 

I’ve been thinking about parties and celebrations after writing “How to Have an Unconventional Thanksgiving” as a featured post on PeopleJam.  Acknowledging that the Thanksgiving holiday is damn stressful, I challenged readers to let go of their perfectionism, break the rules, and “party hardy” on Thanksgiving this year. 

But what makes a dinner party unconventionally great?

Keith Ferrazzi talks about creating “heat” among the people at his parties. (Good parties that enable meaningful connection are an essential component of his networking philosophy – hence the name of his book: Never Eat Alone.)    He creates the crucible for these conversations by packing people closely around the table, mixing up the social groups and, on occasion, asking people to rotate seats mid-dinner.   Key, I think, is that he sets the stage and then “exhales” which I take to mean he “let’s go” to allow the connections to happen naturally.

Listen to Ferrazzi’s advice on a short video.  His energy and commitment to making the heat happen in a gathering makes me want to be invited to one of his parties!

I think the perfect dinner party it boils down to 3 major components that have little to do with how unique your theme, how delicious your food is or how stylish your table setting.  Success lies in things that are more energetic than material:

Mix people.  A good party is like a fancy olive mix – the different sizes, shapes, textures and spice come together in a delicious blend.  Think carefully about the energy your guests bring to the table and invite a variety.  It makes for great, spicy, conversation!

Facilitate connection.  Seating people closely is one way to put them in touch (literally!)  Other ideas include:  Seat guests with shared interests together and mention their commonalities when you introduce them.  Or have guests wear name tags that reveal a compelling personal interest.  For example:  “If I could do anything, I would ________”; or “The one thing I need most right now is __________”

Let go!  You’ve laid the foundation:  guests are invited and connected.  Now let go and enjoy the party!  Trust that your guests are emotionally mature enough to handle stimulating, even controversial, conversations.  Trust their ability to connect to one another.  Your ease will enable everyone else to relax and enjoy the experience even more.

Party hardy!