“Where have you been?”  I’ve had several people ask why I haven’t been blogging lately.  My answer is that I’m learning to live more courageously.  For me that means living more in the actual world and less “in my head.”  The computer, particularly, becomes my chicken-out place.  Often it’s easier to be totally immersed in arms-length virtual relationships – drafting blog posts, keeping up with FB, tweeting, emailing – than to engage in face-to-face human relationships.

A couple days after my Mom’s surgery in February, I was back at home with my husband and daughter, decompressing from the stress of the past week.   I sat in an overstuffed chair deeply focused on twitter.  My daughter came to the side of my chair.  “Come Mama…walk to the store with me and Daddy,” she said gently, almost apologetically.  I felt a surge of annoyance at being interrupted, and then I realized my ridiculousness.  For a split second I chose my online world – twitter, of all things! – over my 5 year old.

I went on that walk. I looked at bugs and laughed at bad knock-knock jokes with my family.  It was the best thing I had done in months and I realized how much the computer had become my hiding place. I also remembered how divine and scary it is to love other human beings that much, and decided to commit myself to learning how to do it a little bit better.  So that’s where I’ve been. Practicing:  playing with my child, walking the dog, attending parties, exercising, and being present for other people as well as myself.  It’s a work in progress.

Note:  Loving human beings includes yourself!  Sometimes the hardest part.

Where have you been hiding out lately?