Taking the road less traveled means stepping out of your comfort zone, making changes, taking risks and stretching your abilities. It takes guts and generally we don’t have a model to follow on this path – or else it wouldn’t be called the road less traveled!

I’m always searching for people who can give us better tools for taking the road less traveled with complete confidence. Now I have the pleasure of introducing you to best-selling author and coach, Dr. Larina Kase. Larina is an expert in confidence and her latest book, The Confident Leader: How the Most Successful People Go from Effective to Exceptional, is filled with wisdom and strategies that will help you stay positive and strong on your journey.

And don’t let the word “leader” fool you: This book is not just for CEOs; it’s about coming into your own personal power. As someone who dares to face the road less traveled you definitely qualify!

Larina is kind enough to share her insight into the ways we can develop our confidence and stand out, especially in this tough economy. She also helps us to understand why we don’t move forward, even when we know exactly what we need to do. And, of course, I couldn’t let her get away without hearing her suggestions about staying confident on the road less traveled.

I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I do.

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Can we build confidence from career achievement?

We know from recent research that self-esteem and confidence are some of the most important predictors of career success and income, and that it doesn’t go the other way around—we can’t wait until we have a thriving career and hope that it increases our confidence. Instead, if we develop confidence, we’re more likely to have a thriving career.

Confidence does NOT necessarily come from achievement. It comes from how you interpret your actions. Two people can achieve the same level, and one feels great and proud of her process of getting there, and the other feels that they could have done better or worries if they’ll do as well the next time. (Guess who’s more confident?)

How come being effective doesn’t cut it in today’s economy?

As you know, the current economy is a challenging one and it will separate the true leaders from the simply effective people. The cream will rise to the top and they will be the ones who will be most competitive for the best jobs, clients, and other opportunities.

Ironically, in tough times, most people become LESS exceptional. They get scared. They retreat into their comfort zones. They seek security and play it safe. They want to blend in and fly under the radar. They are afraid to accept responsibility for things that don’t go well. They do not step up as leaders.

You must avoid this temptation! These things will keep you in the average zone (or worse) and keep you from being exceptional and presenting your best.

What are 5 ways to make yourself exceptional to stand out in a tough market?

1. Become an expert. Pick one aspect of your work and make yourself an expert in it, such as “the woman who gracefully handles difficult customers”. This makes you invaluable.
2. Speak in specifics. Market the results of your work by highlighting outcomes and data. This type of self-marketing delivers value without coming across as self-promotional.
3. Tell stories. Stories engage others and make you memorable. Show your value by telling the success stories of your clients or customers.
4. Step up as the leader. During fearful times you’re tempted to fly under the radar, but this makes you dispensable. Instead, pick a project you are qualified to lead and take charge.
5. Take ownership. When you’re anxious, fear of failure increases and you don’t want to be blamed for problems. Unfortunately responsibility-shirking undermines your confidence in yourself and others’ trust in you.

Why do we know what we need (and even want to do) but we don’t do it?

We high-achieving types are great consumers of knowledge. We always want to learn more and be our best, but most of the time we struggle with turning our knowledge into action. There are many reasons for this, including:

• The timing isn’t right
• We don’t have the right support or other resources
• We aren’t committed to making the change
• We don’t yet have the skills to successfully take action

These reasons can be legitimate and important to consider and manage, or they can be excuses. The #1 reason that we don’t take action is fear. We doubt ourselves and get paralyzed with indecision. When fear is active, these reasons all feel very legitimate, when in reality they are not important.

The key, then, is to critically evaluate your readiness to take action when you are not feeling particularly anxious about the change. If you need to address these factors, do so, and while you have momentum, start taking action!

What suggestions do you have for leaders to “take the road less traveled” with confidence?

The Good News- taking the road less traveled builds confidence!

The Bad News- it takes confidence to get yourself to take the road less traveled!

One of the challenges is that one source of confidence building is called “participant observation.” This means that we develop confidence vicariously by watching others take on a challenge, make mistakes, and handle them. When you go against the grain, you don’t always have a role model.

You’ll have to be your own role model and motivate yourself. But you don’t have to do it alone, you can get support from friends, families, professionals, and mentors. Maybe they haven’t taken the exact path that you’re heading down, but they have other valuable perspectives and experiences to share. Or they can simply serve as cheerleaders to keep you going.

One of the challenges is selecting which road to take. There are typically a finite number of roads frequently travelled and an infinite number of roads less travelled. How do you know which is the right one? One of the considerations that I discuss in The Confident Leader is using your feelings (intuition, fear, excitement) to guide you. In research studies people are typically most satisfied when they feel (rather than think) their way to the right decisions.

Once you select your path, as you go along be sure to give yourself credit for navigating each of the challenges that comes up—this is how you’ll build true, lasting confidence.

Is your new book The Confident Leader just for leaders?

It’s really about personal leadership- being the leader in your career, business, community, and life. It’s for the person who wants to take charge, push their own boundaries, surprise themselves with what they are actually capable of, and make a real difference in the world. You can get it plus lots of bonuses at: http://www.ConfidentLeaderBook.com .

If you get the book before November 10th, you can attend a telesummit where I’ll interview business leaders like Dan Pink and Joe Vitale at no charge.

Thanks, Larina, for sharing your wisdom with us. Good luck on your book tour!